he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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