You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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