im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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