Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
