did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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