Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
