I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
only you would photoshop your dick
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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