so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
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I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
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I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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