i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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