Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i can't believe i had my finger in that
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
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Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
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It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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