this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
