i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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