Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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