Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
