Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
