She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
