so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
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So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
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I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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