He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
