think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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