I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
