it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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