I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
