What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
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