There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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