Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
