dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
