god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
