And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
