see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
