i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize