I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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