So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
