oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Sorry my hands just texted you
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
false alarm, still single
Randomize
