I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
