i barfeds in our rink
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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