I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I have tasted many bathrooms
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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