so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
