Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
