Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He? As in you personified your dick?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
