Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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