I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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