don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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