If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
