when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
