I need help removing her.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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