What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
