I wanna bring you to show and tell
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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