he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I woke up under a house in Key West
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