Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
