we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
