Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Randomize
