Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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