if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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