Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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