HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
