Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
