one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
