Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
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