I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
