Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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