She's JV to your varsity
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I just found puke in my bra..
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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